I am normally not a Grinch. This year for the first time in my 35 years I am not interested in the holiday season in the least. We haven't even put up a tree. This is usually done in November on my youngest son's birthday.
I have tried to get in the spirit, but nothing is working. We made a gingerbread house, homemade gifts for the teachers, baked cookies... nothing...
I am not sad or overwhelmed. I just do not care to be honest.
The only thing I can think of is that I really do not want to celebrate Christmas. The desire is gone. I have celebrated Christmas my entire life, but it has no meaning to me anymore. I would prefer to just celebrate Yule. Living in the Bible Belt and having a very Catholic family just doesn't lend itself to my beliefs. I can't take risk with what the outcome may be when my kids are involved.
When my kids are grown, I won't care as much. They will not have to suffer the consequences of my actions. At the present time though, unfortunately we live in an area of intolerance. (Not sure if you remember the nasty letter I received about my son wearing skull clothing and being inappropriate and unworthy of friendship with some of the other children in school. I was further chastised because as a teacher "I should know better.")
Thinking about it as I write maybe I am a bit sad. Sad that other people can influence and dictate my life. I know they truly can't, but it sure does that way at times.
Thus, the holiday blues.
How do you stay focused on the season?
What do you do to curb negative feelings and overcome the pressures of others?
How do you handle all this "junk" when their are preciously little kidlets involved?
i'm so sorry, this sounds really horrible. I sometimes forget how lucky I am that I don't have to face that degree of intolerance.
ReplyDeleteAll you can do is face it with dignity and integrity. I completely understand the worry of staining your children with your beliefs as it's something i've thought long and hard about myself. When you live in a place that judges so harshly it's understandable that you want to protect your children from those juegements.
Firstly congratulate yourself that you do such a good job.
Secondly I would say that it's ok to not feel in the 'christmas spirit' and that you shouldn't chastise yourself. You've done the necessary to fulfill your role as you see it and it sounds like you've done it admirably. Do you worry if you don't feel in the Diwali spirit when you're teaching your kids about that festival? Of course not - try to think of this in the same way.
And when all else fails, there's always a chilled glass of vino in my opinion ;)