A Big Question Indeed

Over at Pagan Parenting Resource Blog Nellie wrote a post entitled The Big Question.  I responded to her post with the following:

Raising your child to follow the pagan path and have a sense of spirituality is indeed a big question. I agree that for most religions the question does not arise as it is expected that most will bring up their child with the same beliefs.

As for our family, I bring my children up following my beliefs in a way that does not dictate any religions view points. We talk about the changing of the seasons and how important it is to take care of the earth. My boys have loved space and nature since wee little ones. We read books related to things I would like them to know. We experience nature together as a family and talk about the importance of various things in nature. We even talk about how we do some things differently than others.

For example: We redo our nature table on the night of All Hallows Eve. We adorn it with scrapbooks, photos and objects of the ones we love that have passed. My boys think of the dead as spirits that look out for them and protect them. We talk to the person and invite them to spend the evening with us. We tell stories of special times and just relish in the memories.

My boys know that some people think Halloween is bad and do not participate in it at all and that others just dress up to get candy. We remember those we have loved and dress up to get candy. Plus, for us.

My eight year old began asking questions about God and heaven when his grandfather passed and again when he would have conversations with the children at school. I did not accept or negate anything he discussed. I simply listened to what he shared and asked him what he thought.

I will often give him multiple points of view and then, simply ask him to tell me what he thinks. Come to find out that most of the time even though he wants to agree with friends his thoughts are more in line with my own than would be expected.

As for more overtly pagan practice sure as tarot or pendulums used for divination, I explain it simply. Most people do not sue these things or might think it is weird. I use them to help me make decisions. I "read" the cards or take the answer the pendulum gives and ponder the outcome and if it is the right one for me. I think about how to change things to make my life happy, healthy, and fun. This really seems to be enough.

Now, I will say these are things I try not to do in front of them all the time. I want them to understand and see me using pagan things, but as much as necessary.

When my boys are of an age that they can truly choose a beliefs system of their own, I will explain the many things we have done and why we do them. In all honesty, I feel like my boys will take their pagan beliefs into their own family while following a more mainstream religion of their wives at the same time. I think that when the time comes they will automatically gravitate toward what is in their hearts. I will know that I have given them all the tools needed to make a wise decision whatever that may be.